Wow! This prologue was certainly a jump.
A few things:
When you identify them by the color of their eyes, please use colors which are much easier to identify. You wouldn't want your reader rummaging in the dictionary searching for cirulean every few seconds. It would also keep the pace up.
Sometimes I didn't know who was speaking. The first elf, the first person who spoke? Or was it individual...things, I might call them...each time?
And also I felt that the jump into the prologue was really too quick for me. Maybe add a paragraph about what they were doing while speaking, where they were--mellow it down a bit from your beginning with the elf.
Otherwise, excellent!
Points: 1108
Reviews: 404
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